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| Girlfriend Back After She Cheated |
Discovering your girlfriend has cheated on you is devastating. The
betrayal of trust, pain of shattered love, and the blow to your
self-esteem are utter anguish. Consequently, it can be very confusing
if, in the middle of all this, your girlfriend claims she wants you
back.
Do you know how to get a girlfriend back after she cheated
on you? Should you give your girlfriend a second chance? Do you really
still want to be with the kind of person who would cheat on her
boyfriend? How do you get a girlfriend back if you don't know if she'll
cheat on you again? For that matter, how can you ever trust your
girlfriend again? Is she even sincere in her apology?
Fortunately,
there are some signs to look for that will tell you if the relationship
can be saved, and how to get a girlfriend back. Here are some questions
to ask.
What Type of Affair Was It?
If it was a Love
Affair-a long-term, emotionally involved affair-then the chances of
repairing your relationship with your girlfriend is poor. Essentially,
your girlfriend has fallen in love with someone else, and that will get
in the way of fixing your relationship. Although not impossible to
recover from, will be difficult and require a lot of work and sacrifice.
If
it was just a Fling-a purely physical affair, usually brief and
anonymous with no emotional involvement-there is good chance you can
repair your relationship, and just need to figure out how to get a
girlfriend back and overcome the infidelity. Flings are the easiest
affairs to recover from because they are meaningless, emotionless, and
often the product of a temporary lapse in judgment.
Look at Flings
this way. Everyone makes mistakes. If YOU got drunk at a party, had an
attractive woman pounce on you, and in your uninhibited state you made a
very poor choice, wouldn't want your girlfriend to give YOU a second
chance?
Is the Affair Over?
Actions speak louder than words.
If your girlfriend is truly sorry, and really wants you back, she must
end the affair immediately, or be willing to do so if you ask. Your
girlfriend must cut off ALL contact with that person (no "just being
friends").
It is impossible to rebuild a relationship shattered by
infidelity if the "other man" is still there tempting your girlfriend
and dividing her attention and emotions. But, if your girlfriend has
ended the affair and cut the person out of her life completely, all in
the effort to win you back, then that is a very good sign that your
relationship can recover.
On the other hand, if your girlfriend
hasn't completely ended the relationship with the new person, and
refuses to do so when you ask, you have to question her sincerity about
getting back together. Without action to back it up, apologies, and
professions of love are just empty words.
If your girlfriend wants
you back but won't end the affair, you may be being strung along. Down
that path lies only more rejection and heartache. If this is the case,
you should break the relationship off altogether before you get hurt
more.
Can You Forgive?
Even if your girlfriend is willing to
do whatever it takes, if you can't forgive her, the relationship may
still fail. If you try to get revenge, attack her by throwing the affair
in her face, or use it as leverage in an argument... is that really how
to get a girlfriend back? No. You are only going to drive her further
away. If you can't forgive your girlfriend, don't give her a "second
chance" in the first place.
Rebuilding a relationship torn by
infidelity takes a lot of work on BOTH sides. Sure, you are hurt, angry,
and distrustful. But you have to explain your anger to your girlfriend,
not take it out on her. You have to share your pain with her to create
understanding, not use it as a weapon to punish or manipulate. You have
to rebuild trust slowly, not watch your girlfriend like a hawk. If you
can't do this, the relationship will never heal.
Finally, when the
anger and pain has subsided and trust has been rebuilt, you have to
forgive your girlfriend. This doesn't mean you have to approve of the
affair, or forget it happened, but put it behind you as a bump in the
road of your relationship, not a roadblock.
One last thing-give
your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt and a second chance ONCE. A
girlfriend who cheats a second time wasn't really sincere in the first
place, and it will probably continue to happen. End the relationship
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