I'm
going to explain this in a general way and then give some tips on how
to customize whether you are in a relationship, married, or single. The
basic principle is the same and it's just a matter of integrating it
into what works best for you personally. The idea is women love to be
adored, right? If you're a woman, you love to be adored, be pursued, and
cherished-to be "wanted", in a word.
Let me suggest a two-step
process. One, you get the man to respect you. And two, you tell him that
you respect him, because a fundamental difference between men and women
is that women want to be adored. They want to be pursued. They want to
be fought for. However, men want to be admired for pursuing, for
fighting for, for winning. You see, the main thing that a man wants from
a woman is respect, to know that she's proud of him. There are
countless examples of this in movies and in folklore and songs that
illustrate this very same idea.
You can have a relationship that
has a lot of passion without having any respect. This is what happens
when women get into relationships that are damaging. She'll find a guy
who's really attracted to her and passionate, but he doesn't respect
her. Big problem. Without a man's respect, your relationship doesn't
have a really good chance of being very healthy because then it's just
passion, and if a relationship is built on passion, it's kind of like
building a diet on chocolate cake.
Yeah, chocolate cake is great
every once in a while; it's great to look forward to; it's great to
anticipate; and it's great to desire those things. However, we wouldn't
want to eat chocolate cake three times a day. So the tip is this: Earn a
man's respect and then tell him that you respect him. What do I mean by
that? First, you earn a man's respect by respecting yourself. This
comes in all sorts of forms, and you'll want to personalize this for
your own life so that it can be genuine.
It can be as simple as
not being physical early on or just setting appropriate boundaries --
convictions that you actually stick to. As a man, I can tell you that a
man loves a woman with convictions because we find it challenging, not
to mention it's very attractive.
So develop your convictions and
your boundaries, and then once you've earned his respect-and you'll know
when you do-you will be able to honestly say to him the things that he
wants to hear. "Baby, I'm so proud of you" or "There's not another man
who I want to call mine." You might also say, "I noticed these difficult
things that have been going on in business (or personally) and you make
me very proud to call you my boyfriend/my husband because of the way
that you handle them."
Men have very fragile egos, as you probably
know, and the one he looks to the most in order to repair it, is you.
He's not going to look to his buddies to repair his ego. He's not going
to be vulnerable enough with them. So, if you can earn a man's respect
and then tell him through words like, "I'm proud of you" and "You've
done a good job" and "Wow, you've shown great courage" then you'll find
that this man will never want anyone else.
You may be tempted to
tell him that you love him when he's challenged or that you support him
or any of those things-but those are the things that you would
want to hear. What a man wants to hear is: "I'm proud of you. You're
amazing. I can't believe the courage or the resolve that you've used." I
hope this helps and thanks for reading!
