Monday, June 9, 2014

Coming Out As Gay or Lesbian to Your Teenager

 Once you've taken that big step to finally accepting who you are and embracing your newfound lesbian/gay identity, you may want to shout it out and share it with the whole world. However, you're not sure how you'll be accepted, if everyone is going to feel that same euphoria as you are feeling, especially your family and more specifically your kids. Teenagers are going through a sexual awakening; the last thing they want to face is their mom's or dad's sexual re-birth.
Nevertheless, it must be dealt with, as keeping it from them won't help unite the family. It will most likely prevent you and your kids from properly bonding especially at a time when they need you most. Most lesbian moms and dads spend a considerable amount of time worrying about how to come out to their teens and asking themselves questions such as:
• Will they hate me?
• Will they yell and scream at me?
• Will they walk away from me?
• Will they still love me?
• Will they accept me?
Thinking about all the possible scenarios and outcomes can lead to anxiety. Begin to change your way of thinking from - what will they think of me, to how am I going to tell them so they'll accept me lovingly. Here are some pointers as to how to begin the process of broaching the subject with your teenager. If you wish to approach your son or daughter with..."I'm a lesbian I'm gay and I'm proud of it", that's great, go ahead. The following advice is for those who might want to take a more gradual approach to the issue because of fear of homophobic responses from their teens. These steps are designed to prepare you for a successful coming out reception.

Step One: Begin by bringing home books on lesbian and gay issues and leaving them around the house, on the coffee table, by the phone, etc. Wait for their reactions. When they ask why these books are around, or comment on them, just say you're doing research on the subject. If they ask why, simply say, "because I find it an interesting issue;" then walk away.
Step Two: Rent or buy a movie in which one of the characters is gay or lesbian. Sit down with your teens on movie night and watch it together. At the end ask them what they thought of the movie and especially the gay/lesbian character. Accept whatever response they say. Do not become defensive in any way. Then add your opinion, whatever it may be, but of course it should be positive. For example, "I think the lesbian/gay character was well acted, a strong and powerful performance."
Step Three: If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend or partner bring him/her home for approximately one hour. Introduce him/her only by name. Have your kids say "hi" and enjoy a drink together.
Step Four: If you do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend or partner, engage your kids in a conversation about Meredith Baxter or Neil Patrick Harris or another known celebrity that is lesbian or gay and has come out. Ask your teens for their opinions on the subject. Tell them that you think he/she has been very courageous for deciding to live a true and honest life.
Step Five: Seize the opportunity. Sometimes the opportunity just arises when your teens mention something about a lesbian or gay friend or schoolmate. Take this opportunity to ask them how they feel about it. Encourage discussion on the issue. If it's negative, don't be alarmed or defensive just add your own positive angle to it.
Step Six: Come Out: I find it best to come out to teens on a one to one basis and not in a group format. On a day or night your teens are home alone, approach them individually and ask them if you can share something very important and personal. Say it's about you and although you have been hesitant to share it, you now feel it's the right time. Then say something to this effect: "I have come to the realization that I am gay/lesbian" or that "I'm attracted to men/women" or "I now identify as gay/lesbian and plan to date men/women" or "I now identify as gay/lesbian and I have a boyfriend/girlfriend (which you have already met)" If that's the case.
Step Seven: Wait for their reactions. They may surprise you and hug you and say they knew it all along. Whatever the reaction, take it in a positive stride. If they become upset, let them express their anger. If they ask you to leave the room, comply and let them take the initiative and return to you later. If they don't return to you, wait a few days and then broach the issue with them. By then they'll have had time to talk about it with friends (possibly) or just had time to toss around the whole my mom is a lesbian/my dad is gay notion.
Questions are always a good sign that your teen is trying to accept you. Through questions you'll have the opportunity to share your coming out process. Don't be surprised if it takes a few days (possibly weeks) for your teens to accept you and your new lesbian/gay identity. Begin to take steps now to creating a more meaningful, honesty based relationship with your teenager. Seek support from your local lesbian/gay community centres and PFlag groups. Begin to pick up brochures, books and films to help you in the coming out process. Most importantly, don't stand alone, have a good friend stand by you for support. Ensure to keep a positive attitude towards yourself and your new identity and that energy will be conveyed to those around you.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Multiple Orgasm - You Need to Know About this

 One of the women, when asked about a multiple orgasm, replied with: "Wow, what is that?" And there is absolutely nothing exotic in it. It is one of the normal variations of a female orgasm when a woman experiences several (up to 3-5) orgasmic releases during one sexual intercourse, usually following one another every 15-40 seconds. The main condition for it is long enough sexual intercourse, and it is something that is of course a man's responsibility. At the same time just the length of the intercourse alone is not what achieves multiple orgasm. The basis for the success is the absence of the so-called refractory period in a woman. In other words the woman does not need to rest and take a break between orgasms as a man does. Therefore if after the first orgasm a man continues to intensively stimulate the partner then she is very likely to experience a second orgasm.

So is a multiple orgasm healthier or better in any way than a usual orgasm? Let's start with the fact that any orgasm is an additional pressure on the heart. It is also known that the electroencephalogram (the recording of the brain's spontaneous electrical activity over a short period of time, usually 20-40 minutes, as recorded from multiple electrodes placed on the scalp) of an orgasm is the same as one of an epileptic seizure. Both are accompanied with the convulsions of the whole body. Compared to just one female orgasm, a multiple orgasm has nothing special except for the repetitive charge. Thus, even one orgasm can lead to unpleasant consequences if you suffer from hypertension, weak vessels, epilepsy and other similar illnesses. However, a totally opposite statement can be said about a long, hard jog for example. In our point of view a multiple orgasm is neither useful, nor harmful as far as your health goes and definitely beneficial in the area of pleasure. By the way, there is also an opinion that a female orgasm is a defensive reaction, preventing the body from excessive arousal. Having reached the critical level of tension, the nervous system gives a signal: "I've had enough! I'm done!" and the woman experiences the peak of sensations.

Should couples strive to achieve a multiple orgasm for full sexual experience? That's a good question! Not every woman and not under every circumstance reaches even one orgasm. It strongly depends on the level of her trust with her partner, ability to relax well, and sometimes even making a plan with a man about the necessary strategy. And in this sense a multiple orgasm requires solid and sincere relationship in a couple. Besides the word 'should' in this question makes it particularly doubtful. Along with this word a multiple orgasm becomes more of an achievement than pleasure. In other words, when 'we should' appears in a relationship, it stops being a relationship of love and becomes one focused on achievements.

And talking about the man, in order to get a woman to have a multiple orgasm, should the partner be at minimum a long-distance runner? That is actually exactly correct. If he hasn't mastered the technique of achieving his own multiple orgasm, then maybe it wouldn't even be beneficial to strive for a multiple orgasm for his partner. Kind of like rabbits, who die from a heart attack in the process of mating. So any achievements in sex are possible only when the partners are a tandem: if they treat each other with kindness and trust, feel each other really well and work on their relationship overall and not on specific achievements.

Men are advised to look for certain techniques of sexual intercourse's prolongation on the internet, there are a lot of them, especially in eastern cultures such as China and India, most popular ones called Kegels and Jelqing exercises. Optionally, a man can form certain skills, which contribute to the woman's multiple orgasm. It's quite another matter that a man can become obsessed with the achievement itself and not on the relationship, which can lead to distrust, tensions and arguments. Therefore a woman should not define such a goal as achieving a multiple orgasm. If she fails at achieving it (which is absolutely normal and is not the evidence of any defects) a man will feel like a failure. Besides not every woman and not every time welcomes further stimulation after the first orgasm, a lot of women have such a high sensitivity that continuing the caresses is actually painful. Overall, of course, every couple can win a lot from the full exploration of their capabilities but naturally it would be better if the ability to experience an orgasm was measured by the quality of the sensations and not the quantity.

So does this mean that achieving a multiple orgasm is not an indicator of hyper sexuality? The answer is, not at all. Furthermore, a multiple orgasm sometimes comes with the mental dysfunctions in the area of sexual behavior. Taoist wise men say that the peaks of pleasure are only a part of the love process, and no orgasm should become an end in itself, not a single one, nor a multiple one. When you and your partner learn to perform the circulation of sexual energy along your body, then you will be able to experience the waves of orgasms as often as you want. When you will make love, you will feel the closest connection (physical, emotional and even spiritual), which you very rarely felt before, if ever.

At one point the discovery of a multiple orgasm caused a commotion in sexology, and over the course of several decades the amount of women practicing a multiple orgasm has grown exponentially, and they are not even taught by anyone; they just found out that it's possible. One thing to mention is it may be best to try this first with masturbation with a vibrator, which allows you to control the process and not having to worry the stresses of your partner's involvement. This guide was meant as an introduction to the subject and just barely touches the tip of the iceberg. Spend some time researching, experimenting and practicing. Pretty soon you will personally know the incredible euphoria of multiple orgasms.